John Owen

Section: Bass II
Year: 2012
Major: Classics
Hometown: Lofty Troy of Priam (i.e. Chicago and Valparaiso, IN).

Powerful in battle, breaker of men, vanquisher of armies, John Owen spent ten bloody years at the side of
Hector, breaking the shields of the bronze-clad Achean heroes in front of the mighty walls of Troy. Essentially
inventing the war chants that would evolve into the phalanx paean, John had a nearly foundational effect on choral
music. When the Trojans justly met their fate after foolishly ignoring the sagacious advice of John: “nolite
credere Acheais, quamquam dant hunc equum” (Oh yeah, he also invented the Latin language), John waded his way through the throng of Greek invaders to escape the conflagration wrought upon Pergamum, the lofty citadel of Priam. Taking under his protection Aeneas and his bedraggled group of exiles, John led (yes, Vergil was wrong) the expedidion across the dark sea to Latium, breaking hearts, and slaying giants along the way. John practically dragged Aeneas and his crew into Italy, where, by virtue of his own immense strength and prowess on the field of battle, he conquered the armies of Turnus, and, as champion, slew Turnus in single combat. His might won for him the hand of Lavinia, whom he consequently handed over to Aeneas, so humble he was. After founding Rome, he happened upon the fountain of youth, and has thus lived into the Twenty First century, but has gradually lost his superpowers. Although he can no longer crush men with his bare hands, John enjoys singing with CMAC, Greek and Latin literature (which he inspired, of course), and playing basketball.